Bob Hope quotes

Born
May 29, 1903 Well Hall, Eltham, County of London, England.

Died
July 27, 2003.

Occupation
Comedian.

Bob Hope was an English-American comedian, with a career that spanned nearly 80 years.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
– Bob Hope

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
– Bob Hope

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
– Bob Hope

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
– Bob Hope

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
– Bob Hope

I have too much money invested in sweaters.
– Bob Hope

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
– Bob Hope

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
– Bob Hope

You’ve got to be rich to have a swing like that.
– Bob Hope

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
– Bob Hope

I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
– Bob Hope

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
– Bob Hope

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
– Bob Hope

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
– Bob Hope

If you haven’t got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
– Bob Hope

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I’ll do it.
– Bob Hope

I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
– Bob Hope

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
– Bob Hope

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
– Bob Hope

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
– Bob Hope

You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
– Bob Hope

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
– Bob Hope

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
– Bob Hope

They’ll always be an England, even if it’s in Hollywood.
– Bob Hope

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.
– Bob Hope