Lenny Bruce quotes
Born
October 13, 1925 Mineola, New York, U.S.
Died
August 3, 1966.
Occupation
Stand-up comedian.
Lenny Bruce was an American stand-up comedian.
The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.
– Lenny Bruce
The liberals can understand everything but people who don’t understand them.
– Lenny Bruce
There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
– Lenny Bruce
A lot of people say to me, ‘Why did you kill Christ?’ I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
– Lenny Bruce
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
– Lenny Bruce
Life is a four-letter word.
– Lenny Bruce
Anyone who has two shirts when someone has none is not a christian.
– Lenny Bruce
I don’t have an act. I just talk. I’m just Lenny Bruce.
– Lenny Bruce
When you’re eight years old nothing is your business.
– Lenny Bruce
The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can’t fake it… try to fake three laughs in an hour – ha ha ha ha ha – they’ll take you away, man. You can’t.
– Lenny Bruce
I think it’s about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
– Lenny Bruce
I’ll die young, but it’s like kissing God.
– Lenny Bruce
Communism is like one big phone company.
– Lenny Bruce
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
– Lenny Bruce
Satire is tragedy plus time.
– Lenny Bruce
What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
– Lenny Bruce
The American Constitution was not written to protect criminals; it was written to protect the government from becoming criminals.
– Lenny Bruce
There are never enough I Love You’s.
– Lenny Bruce
If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
– Lenny Bruce
I don’t read enough books, so I guess I’m pretty shallow. I’m a lot into the physical. With me, first attraction is never intellectual.
– Lenny Bruce
Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
– Lenny Bruce
I’m not a comedian. And I’m not sick. The world is sick, and I’m the doctor. I’m a surgeon with a scalpel for false values.
– Lenny Bruce
If God made the body, and the body is dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.
– Lenny Bruce
In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.
– Lenny Bruce
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
– Lenny Bruce
I hate small towns because once you’ve seen the cannon in the park there’s nothing else to do.
– Lenny Bruce
The liberals can understand everything but people who don’t understand them.
– Lenny Bruce