Woody Allen

//Woody Allen
Woody Allen 2018-02-21T18:40:59+00:00

Name
Woody Allen.

Born
December 1, 1935, The Bronx, New York, U.S.

Occupation
Actor, director.

Woody Allen is an American actor, comedian, and director whose career spans more than six decades. He worked as a comedy writer in the 1950s, writing jokes and scripts Read More…

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot.
– Woody Allen
To you I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.
– Woody Allen
With my complexion I don’t tan, I stroke.
– Woody Allen
Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.
– Woody Allen
If my films don’t show a profit, I know I’m doing something right.
– Woody Allen
I had a great evening; it was like the Nuremberg Trials.
– Woody Allen
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
– Woody Allen
I don’t know enough to be incompetent.
– Woody Allen
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
– Woody Allen
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon.
– Woody Allen
Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.
– Woody Allen
I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
– Woody Allen
What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn’t for certain people.
– Woody Allen
If my film makes one more person miserable, I’ll feel I’ve done my job.
– Woody Allen
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
– Woody Allen
I took one course in existential philosophy at New York University and on the final they gave me ten questions. I couldn’t answer a single one of ’em. You know? I left ’em all blank… I got a hundred.
– Woody Allen
In Beverly Hills… they don’t throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
– Woody Allen
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
– Woody Allen
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.
– Woody Allen
I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics.
– Woody Allen
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
– Woody Allen
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
– Woody Allen
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.
– Woody Allen
I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy myself, but I didn’t.
– Woody Allen
This year I’m a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
– Woody Allen
It’s much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
– Woody Allen
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
– Woody Allen
The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody’s going to make fun of you.
– Woody Allen
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
– Woody Allen
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
– Woody Allen
Those who can’t do, teach, and those who can’t tech, teach Gym.
– Woody Allen
Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people – and kill ’em.
– Woody Allen