Bad Boys (1995) quotes

Director
Michael Bay.

Cast
Will Smith.
Martin Lawrence.
Lisa Boyle.

Two hip detectives protect a witness to a murder while investigating a case of stolen heroin from the evidence storage room from their police precinct.

Hey man where-where-where’s your cup holder?
– Marcus Burnett
I don’t have one.
– Mike Lowrey
What the f- w’you mean you don’t have one? Eighty thousand dollars for this car and you ain’t got no damn cup holder?
– Marcus Burnett
It’s $105,000 and this happens to be one of the fastest production cars on the planet. Zero to sixty in four seconds, sweetie. It’s a limited edition.
– Mike Lowrey
You damn right it’s limited. No cup holder, no back seat. Just a shiny dick with two chairs in it. I guess we the balls just draggin’ the fuck along.
– Marcus Burnett

He steals our shit, kidnaps Julie, shoots at my wife. Oh, we beatin’ him down. We beatin’ him DOWN!
– Marcus Burnett

Until then, until then, you are Mike Lowrey, you be him, that’s what you are, you’re him.
– Captain Howard
But I-…
– Marcus Burnett
You’re him, I don’t wanna hear it, you’re him. And you, you’re you, you be you, but not in front of her. You’re him, you’re you.
– Captain Howard

Hello?
– Mike Lowrey
We’re your new neighbors.
– Marcus Burnett
Don’t be alarmed, we’re negros.
– Mike Lowrey
Naw man, naw. There’s too much bass in your voice. That scares white folks. You got to sound like them.
– Marcus Burnett
We were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar…?
– Marcus Burnett

Damn, why am I tripping on shit I know is there?
– Marcus Burnett

I don’t know why you going home to your wife. You got shot in the leg, your dick probably don’t even work.
– Mike Lowrey

My shit always works sometimes!
– Mike Lowrey

Freeze mother bitches.
– Store Clerk

This is bad. No, let me call it what is. This is fucked up.
– Marcus Burnett

I like it when a woman takes pride in her appearance. Don’t you?
– Fouchet
Yeah, I hate it when a bitch lets herself slide.
– Casper

You know you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy.
– Mike Lowrey

You forgot your boarding pass.
– Marcus Burnett

You know I’m a better cop when I get some in the morning, I feel lighter on my feet.
– Marcus Burnett

I was, like, gettin’ ’em all in before you showed up.
– Captain Howard

Hey, freeze bitch!
– Store Clerk
YOU freeze, bitch!
– Mike Lowrey
Oh shit, I’m fucked.
– Store Clerk
Now back up, put the gun down, and get me a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious.
– Mike Lowrey
And some Skittles.
– Marcus Burnett

Please, man. Married life is easy. You only got one woman to satisfy.
– Mike Lowrey
Yo, man, we ain’t the Cosbys.
– Marcus Burnett

King Dingaling.
– Mike Lowrey

You see what happens when you go off without me? You get into shit.
– Marcus Burnett
Oh please, like shit don’t happen when you’re there.
– Mike Lowrey
That – that ain’t the point…
– Marcus Burnett

Now that’s how you supposed to drive! From now on that’s how you drive!
– Mike Lowrey

Oh, man, that was cold.
– Marcus Burnett
Yeah, so was your mama’s bed.I don’t eat flesh.
– Detective Sanchez

Now that’s how you s’pose to drive. From now on, that’s how you drive!
– Mike Lowrey