Bridget Jones's Diary (2001) quotes

Director
Sharon Maguire.

Cast
Renée Zellweger.
Colin Firth.
Hugh Grant.

A British woman is determined to improve herself while she looks for love in a year in which she keeps a personal diary.

Wait a minute… nice boys don’t kiss like that.
– Bridget
Oh, yes, they fucking do.
– Mark Darcy

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.
– Bridget

Mother, I do not need a blind date. Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney, and dresses like her mother.
– Mark Darcy

You once said you liked me just as I am and I just wanted to say likewise. I mean there are stupid things your mum buys you, tonight’s another… classic. You’re haughty, and you always say the wrong thing in every situation and I seriously believe that you should rethink the length of your sideburns. But, you’re a nice man and I like you. If you wanted to pop by some time that might be nice… more than nice.
– Bridget
Right, crikey.
– Mark Darcy

I don’t think you’re an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother’s pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever’s in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences… But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.
– Mark Darcy

I like you, very much.
– Mark Darcy
Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and… ah, the verbal diarrhea.
– Bridget
No, I like you very much. Just as you are.
– Mark Darcy

Thank you, Daniel, that is very good to know. But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I’d rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein’s arse.
– Bridget

Why do you wanna work on television?
– Richard Finch
I’ve got to leave my job because I shagged my boss.
– Bridget
Fair enough. Start on Monday.
– Richard Finch

I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. Well, I meant it, but I was so stupid that I didn’t mean what I meant… After all, it’s only a diary. Everyone knows diaries are just… full of crap.
– Bridget
Yes, I know that. I was just buying you a new one.
– Mark Darcy

Come on Bridget, we belong together – you, me, poor little skirt. If I can’t make it with you then I can’t make it with anyone.
– Daniel Cleaver
That’s not a good enough offer for me.
– Bridget

I realize that when I met you at the turkey curry buffet, I was unforgivably rude, and wearing a reindeer jumper.
– Mark Darcy

I’ve been going crazy. I can’t stop thinking about you, and thinking about what an idiot I’ve been. Christ, is that blue soup?
– Daniel Cleaver

If you have to travel alone, travel in style.
– Daniel Cleaver

Did I really run round your lawn naked?
– Bridget
Oh, yes. You were four and I was eight.
– Mark Darcy
Well, that’s a pretty big age difference. It’s quite pervy really.
– Bridget
Yes, I like to think so.
– Mark Darcy

I owe you an apology about Daniel. He said you ran off with his fiancée and left him brokenhearted.
– Bridget
No, it was the other way around. My wife. My heart.
– Mark Darcy

This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers.
– Bridget

Look, are you and Cosmo in on this together? Because every time I see you, you seem to go out of your way to make me feel like a *complete* idiot. And you really needn’t bother: I already feel like an idiot most of the time anyway – with or without the fireman’s pole.
– Bridget

I choose Vodka. And Chaka Khan.
– Bridget