E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) quotes

Director
Steven Spielberg.

Cast
Henry Thomas.
Drew Barrymore.
Peter Coyote.

A troubled child summons the courage to help a friendly alien escape Earth and return to his home world.

E.T. phone home.
– E.T.

He’s a man from outer space and we’re taking him to his spaceship.
– Elliott
Well, can’t he just beam up?
– Greg
This is *reality*, Greg.
– Elliott

I’m keeping him.
– Elliott

Be good.
– E.T.

Come…
– E.T.
Stay…
– Elliot
Ouch.
– E.T.
Ouch.
– Elliot
I’ll… be… right… here.
– E.T.
… bye.
– Elliot

Beeeeeee… gooood.
– E.T.
Yes.
– Gertie

I’ll believe in you all my life, everyday. E.T… I love you.
– Elliott

Douche bag.
– Tyler
No ‘douche bag’ talk in my house!
– Mary

Where’s the playground?
– Michael
It’s near the preschool!
– Elliott
Where’s that?
– Michael
I don’t know streets! Mom always drives me!
– Elliott
Son of a bitch.
– Michael

Here he is.
– Gertie
Here’s who?
– Mary
The man from the moon. But I think you’ve killed him already.
– Gertie

You could be happy here, I could take care of you. I wouldn’t let anybody hurt you. We could grow up together, E.T.
– Elliott

Maybe it was an iguana.
– Michael
It was *no* iguana.
– Elliott
Maybe, um – You know how they say there are alligators in the sewers?
– Michael
Alligators in the sewers.
– Gertie
All we’re trying to say is, maybe you just probably imagined it. It happened…
– Mary
I couldn’t have imagined it!
– Elliott
Maybe it was a pervert or a deformed kid or something.
– Michael
A deformed kid.
– Gertie
Maybe an elf or a leprechaun.
– Michael
It was nothing like that, penis-breath!
– Elliott
*Elliott*! Sit down.
– Mary

You must be dead, because I don’t know how to feel. I can’t feel anything anymore.
– Elliott

We’re all going to die and they’re never going to give me my license!
– Michael

Did you explain school to him?
– Michael
How do you explain school to higher intelligence?
– Elliott
Maybe he’s not that smart. Maybe he’s like a worker bee who only knows how to push buttons or something.
– Michael
He is too smart.
– Elliott
Okay, I just hope we don’t wake up on Mars or something surrounded by millions of little squashy guys.
– Michael

Maybe he’s some animal that wasn’t supposed to live; kind of like those rabbits we saw. He could be a monkey or an orangutan.
– Michael
A bald monkey?
– Elliott
Is he a pig? He sure eats like one.
– Gertie