Fletch (1985) quotes

Director
Michael Ritchie.

Cast
Chevy Chase.
Joe Don Baker.
Dana Wheeler-Nicholson.

Irwin M. “Fletch” Fletcher is a newspaper reporter being offered a large sum to off a cancerous millionaire, but is on the run, risking his job and finding clues when it’s clear the man is healthy.

Why don’t we go lay on the bed and I’ll fill you in?
– Fletch

I’m sorry, who are you again?
– Madeline
I’m Frieda’s boss.
– Fletch
Who’s Frieda?
– Madeline
My secretary.
– Fletch

You using the whole fist, Doc?
– Fletch

[During Fletch’s dream] He is actually six-five, with the afro, six-nine.
– Chick Hearn

Can I borrow your towel for a sec? My car just hit a water buffalo.
– Fletch

Can’t keep me here, chief.
– Fletch
Maybe I’m not going to keep you in here. Maybe I’m going to blow your brains out.
– Chief Karlin
Well, now, I’m no lawyer, but I do believe that’s a violation of my rights.
– Fletch

You know, it’s a shame about Ed.
– Dr. Joseph Dolan
Oh, it was. Yeah, it was really a shame. To go so suddenly like that.
– Fletch
He was dying for years.
– Dr. Joseph Dolan
Sure, but… the end was very… very sudden.
– Fletch
He was in intensive care for eight weeks.
– Dr. Joseph Dolan
Yeah, but I mean the very end, when he actually died. That was extremely sudden.
– Fletch

Oh, you’ve remodeled the garage. Must have cost you hundreds.
– Fletch

If you shoot me, you’re liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards.
– Fletch

Are you always this forward?
– Gail Stanwyk
Only with wet, married women.
– Fletch

Come on Frank, say yes, and I’ll buy you some new deodorant.
– Fletch

In the court ruling US vs. Fishbine, a man subjected to potential incineration while wearing another man’s suit is entitled to $10,000 worth of airline tickets. It’s an obscure ruling, but a very important one to me.
– Fletch

Well, the traffic was murder, you know. One of those manure spreaders jackknifed on the Santa Ana. Godawful mess. You should see my shoes.
– Fletch

You know, what tipped it for me was something your wife said while we were in bed together.
– Fletch
Oh? And what was that?
– Alan Stanwyk
Curiously, she said we had roughly the same build. From the waist up, I imagine.
– Fletch

Ever seen a spleen that large?
– Pathologist
No, not since breakfast.
– Fletch

Look! Defenseless babies! Fell for the oldest trick in the book!
– Fletch

Don’t talk to me like that, assface. I don’t work for you yet.
– Fletch