Kick-Ass 2 (2013) quotes
Director
Jeff Wadlow.
Cast
Aaron Taylor-Johnson.
Chloë Grace Moretz.
Christopher Mintz-Plasse.
Following Kick-Ass’ heroics, other citizens are inspired to become masked crusaders. But Red Mist leads his own group of evil supervillains to get revenge, kill Kick-Ass and destroy everything he stands for.
You’re gonna pay for what you did to my dad.
– Dave Lizewski
Your dad? You blew up my dad with a bazooka.
– Chris D’Amico
If I ever catch you robbing again, shit-burger, I’m going to go to Saudi Arabia on your ass and cut your hand off. Promise me you’re done with a life of crime?
– Mindy Macready
I-I promise.
– Alley Hood
Pants on fire.
– Mindy Macready
What was that?
– Dave Lizewski
That was my first kiss. Be nice or I’ll rip your ass out through your mouth.
– Mindy Macready
Hit me.
– Mindy Macready
You’re a 15-year-old girl.
– Dave Lizewski
What the hell?
– Dave Lizewski
Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch.
– Mindy Macready
I want to team up, like Batman and Robin.
– Dave Lizewski
Nobody wants to be Robin.
– Mindy Macready
What’s wrong with Robin? Weren’t you like Big Daddy’s Robin?
– Dave Lizewski
Okay, Robin wishes he was me.
– Mindy Macready
What I’m trying to say is we should be partners. You and me, like the dynamic duo.
– Dave Lizewski
I’m in the NFL, Dave. And you play pee-wee.
– Mindy Macready
So train me. I want to walk the walk, and you’re the closest thing I know to a real superhero. Aren’t you tired of being on your own? Don’t you want to know someone’s there for you? Someone who’s got your back?
– Dave Lizewski
We are the Toxic Mega-Cunts!
– Chris D’Amico
You don’t have to be a bad-ass to be a superhero, Dave. You just have to be brave.
– Mindy Macready
This is the zero-G device I invented. It can levitate any object up to a ton.
– Dr. Gravity
For real?
– Dave Lizewski
Hell no, man! This is a baseball bat wrapped in tin foil. But it fooled you!
– Dr. Gravity
What’s the matter, Chris? Shit hit your shorts?
– Dave Lizewski
Yeah, and I’m gonna wipe my ass with your face.
– Chris D’Amico
Who the hell are you?
– Mr. Kim
We’re the good guys.
– Colonel Stars and Stripes
Try to have fun. Otherwise, what’s the point?
– Colonel Stars and Stripes
Game on, cocksuckers.
– Mindy Macready
Maybe she’s a dyke.
– Harlow
Maybe I’ll jam my foot up your snatch.
– Mindy Macready
You guys watch Spider-Man last night? Is it weird if Aunt May gets you kind of hard?
– Todd
Not if you’re a granny-slammer.
– Marty
I’ve been bullied my whole life for being gay. So now I stand up for the defenseless. It’s why I don’t wear a mask. Too much like being back in the closet.
– Insect Man
As long as your heart’s in the right place, we don’t care what you put in your mouth.
– Colonel Stars and Stripes
I’m here to end Kick-Ass.
– Chris D’Amico
I’m the whitest pimp ever.
– Dave Lizewski
Ow, it hurts!
– Mr. Kim
Yeah there’s a dog on your balls!
– Colonel Stars and Stripes
It’s still blowing my mind. Kick-Ass! It’s like finding out your best friend’s always been Will Smith.
– Marty
Are you ready to die, little girl?
– Mother Russia
I might be, if I have to keep looking at that shit stain you call a face.
– Mindy Macready
Anybody else want to be a super-villain? Promise I pay better than Chuck “little dick” Liddell!
– Chris D’Amico