Kindergarten Cop (1990) quotes

Ivan Reitman.

Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Penelope Ann Miller.
Pamela Reed.

A tough cop must pose as a kindergarten teacher in order to locate a dangerous criminal’s ex-wife.

– Detective John Kimble

I have a headache.
– Detective John Kimble
It might be a tumor.
– Lowell
It’s not a tumor! It’s not a tumor. At all!
– Detective John Kimble

Our mom says our dad is a real sex machine.
– Rina, Tina

We’re going to play a wonderful game called, “Who is my daddy and what does he do?”
– Detective John Kimble

Well, what are you going to do? Handcuff her to the bumper of your car and take her for a ride?
– Phoebe
Let’s just say I’m not going to offer to cook her dinner.
– Detective John Kimble

What did it feel like to hit that son of a bitch?
– Miss Schlowski
It felt great.
– Detective John Kimble

 Just don’t throw up on me.
– Detective John Kimble
Nah, it’s OK, I’m not gonna throw up on you. But I am gonna kiss you.
– Phoebe O’Hara

I really appreciate your honesty. You happen to know someone that is not better than me?
– Detective John Kimble
I don’t know that many people.
– Dominic

Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina.
– Joseph
Well, I see you’ve covered the basics.
– Phoebe

Who is your daddy and what does he do?
– Detective John Kimble

I’m a cop, you idiot! I’m Detective John Kimble!
– Detective John Kimble

You know, kindergarten is like the ocean. You don’t want to turn your back on it.
– Joyce

Not so tough without your car, are ya?
– Phoebe O’Hara