Lethal Weapon (1992) quotes
Director
Richard Donner.
Two newly paired cops who are complete opposites must put aside their differences in order to catch a gang of drug smugglers.
I’m too old for this shit!
– Roger Murtaugh
Hey, look friend, let’s just cut the shit. Now we both know why I was transferred. Everybody thinks I’m suicidal, in which case, I’m fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I’m faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I’m fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I’m fucked.
– Martin Riggs
Guess what?
– Roger Murtaugh
What?
– Martin Riggs
I don’t want to work with you!
– Roger Murtaugh
Hey, don’t.
– Martin Riggs
Ain’t got no choice! Looks like we both been fucked!
– Roger Murtaugh
Terrific.
– Martin Riggs
God hates me. That’s what it is.
– Roger Murtaugh
Hate him back; it works for me.
– Martin Riggs
What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let’s get the flock out of here!
– Martin Riggs
You know, Roger, you are way behind the times. The guys of the 80s aren’t tough. They are sensitive people. Show a little emotion to a woman and shit like that. I think I’m an ’80s man…
– Sergeant McCaskey
How do you figure?
– Roger Murtaugh
Last night I cried in bed. So how is that?
– Sergeant McCaskey
Were you with a woman?
– Roger Murtaugh
I was alone. Why do you think I cried?
– Sergeant McCaskey
Sounds like an ’80s man to me…
– Roger Murtaugh
Have you ever met anybody you didn’t kill?
– Roger Murtaugh
Well, I haven’t killed you yet.
– Martin Riggs
What do you do, sleep with that thing under your pillow?
– Roger Murtaugh
I would if I slept.
– Martin Riggs
You’re not trying to draw a psycho pension! You really are crazy!
– Roger Murtaugh
I don’t make things complicated. That’s the way they get, all by themselves.
– Martin Riggs
Hey, Riggs.
– Roger Murtaugh
Yo!
– Martin Riggs
Riggs, if you think I’m gonna eat the world’s lousiest Christmas turkey by myself, you’re crazy.
– Roger Murtaugh
Well, I got news for you, Rog: I’m not crazy.
– Martin Riggs
I know.
– Roger Murtaugh
Well, good. Let’s eat.
– Martin Riggs
You don’t trust me at all, do you?
– Martin Riggs
Well, I’ll tell you what. You make it through tomorrow without killing anybody, especially me, or yourself, then I’ll start trusting you.
– Roger Murtaugh
Fair enough.
– Martin Riggs
Maybe there’s an opening in the L.A. Fire Department.
– Martin Riggs
There’s no more heroes left in the world.
– McAllister
The guy who shot me! The same albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker.
– Martin Riggs
You sure?
– Roger Murtaugh
Yeah, I’m sure man. I never forget an asshole.
– Martin Riggs
You want me to drive?
– Martin Riggs
No, you’re supposed to be suicidal, remember? I’LL drive.
– Roger Murtaugh
Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.
– Martin Riggs
Pretty thin, huh?
– Roger Murtaugh
Anorexic.
– Martin Riggs