Lethal Weapon (1992) quotes

Director
Richard Donner.

Cast
Mel Gibson.
Danny Glover.
Gary Busey.

Two newly paired cops who are complete opposites must put aside their differences in order to catch a gang of drug smugglers.

I’m too old for this shit!
– Roger Murtaugh

Hey, look friend, let’s just cut the shit. Now we both know why I was transferred. Everybody thinks I’m suicidal, in which case, I’m fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I’m faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I’m fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I’m fucked.
– Martin Riggs
Guess what?
– Roger Murtaugh
What?
– Martin Riggs
I don’t want to work with you!
– Roger Murtaugh
Hey, don’t.
– Martin Riggs
Ain’t got no choice! Looks like we both been fucked!
– Roger Murtaugh
Terrific.
– Martin Riggs
God hates me. That’s what it is.
– Roger Murtaugh
Hate him back; it works for me.
– Martin Riggs

What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let’s get the flock out of here!
– Martin Riggs

You know, Roger, you are way behind the times. The guys of the 80s aren’t tough. They are sensitive people. Show a little emotion to a woman and shit like that. I think I’m an ’80s man…
– Sergeant McCaskey
How do you figure?
– Roger Murtaugh
Last night I cried in bed. So how is that?
– Sergeant McCaskey
Were you with a woman?
– Roger Murtaugh
I was alone. Why do you think I cried?
– Sergeant McCaskey
Sounds like an ’80s man to me…
– Roger Murtaugh

Have you ever met anybody you didn’t kill?
– Roger Murtaugh
Well, I haven’t killed you yet.
– Martin Riggs

What do you do, sleep with that thing under your pillow?
– Roger Murtaugh
I would if I slept.
– Martin Riggs

You’re not trying to draw a psycho pension! You really are crazy!
– Roger Murtaugh

I don’t make things complicated. That’s the way they get, all by themselves.
– Martin Riggs

Hey, Riggs.
– Roger Murtaugh
Yo!
– Martin Riggs
Riggs, if you think I’m gonna eat the world’s lousiest Christmas turkey by myself, you’re crazy.
– Roger Murtaugh
Well, I got news for you, Rog: I’m not crazy.
– Martin Riggs
I know.
– Roger Murtaugh
Well, good. Let’s eat.
– Martin Riggs

You don’t trust me at all, do you?
– Martin Riggs
Well, I’ll tell you what. You make it through tomorrow without killing anybody, especially me, or yourself, then I’ll start trusting you.
– Roger Murtaugh
Fair enough.
– Martin Riggs

Maybe there’s an opening in the L.A. Fire Department.
– Martin Riggs

There’s no more heroes left in the world.
– McAllister

The guy who shot me! The same albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker.
– Martin Riggs
You sure?
– Roger Murtaugh
Yeah, I’m sure man. I never forget an asshole.
– Martin Riggs

You want me to drive?
– Martin Riggs
No, you’re supposed to be suicidal, remember? I’LL drive.
– Roger Murtaugh
Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.
– Martin Riggs

Pretty thin, huh?
– Roger Murtaugh
Anorexic.
– Martin Riggs