Maverick (1994) quotes

Director
Richard Donner.

Cast
Mel Gibson.
Jodie Foster.
James Garner.

Bret Maverick, needing money for a poker tournament, faces various comic mishaps and challenges, including a charming woman thief.

Oh, you sure do pick the spots.
– Maverick
Yeah, I know. You know the next time you people come and drive us off our land I’m gonna find a nice piece of swamp that’s so God-awful, maybe then you’ll leave us the hell alone.
– Joseph

See that hawk? You know what it means?
– Maverick
No. What does it mean?
– Annabelle
Nothing. But you didn’t know that did you?
– Maverick

The man who’ll blow your brains out is Marshal Zane Cooper. You’ve probably heard of him, I know what you’re thinking, he’s old and decrepit, gums his food AND his women, but he can still shoot straight.
– Maverick
After you is ugly Annie Bransford. When she was born, she came out backwards and no one noticed. Hell, when she was little, her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck so the dog would play with her. When she’s making love, she has to pretend SHE’S someone else!
– Maverick

Well, they’re Indians. They probably just stole the ponies!
– Annabelle
Not everybody’s like you, Mrs. Bransford.
– Maverick
What is it with you and Indians anyway?
– Annabelle
Oh, nothing. I try and shoot one a day, if possible, before noon. How ’bout you, Coop? I figure it’s their fault for being on our land before we got here.
– Maverick

Well, now, I bring all sorts of plusses to the table. I hardly ever bluff and I never ever cheat.
– Maverick

My old pappy always used to say, “there is no more deeply satisfying religious experience… than cheatin’ on a cheater.”
– Maverick
I never said that once. You’ve been misquoting me all your life.
– Zane Cooper
What, we’re going to quibble over fine points?
– Maverick
You never even get close. Give me some credit.
– Zane Cooper

My, such splendid similarities. Now from the looks of things, I’ll have the lady come in with some more hot water.
– Annabelle

There isn’t a Mrs. Maverick is there?
– Annabelle
Oh I’m sure I would have remembered.
– Maverick

What’s greatest Western thrill of all?
– The Archduke
Kill Indians.
– Joseph
Kill Indians? Is it legal?
– The Archduke
Oh, white man been doing it for years.
– Joseph

You’re security didnt work a damn coop, everybody’s got a gun.
– Commodore

Well, Bret, you know what we ended up with? A half a million dollar silk shirt.
– Zane Cooper
Nope, we ended up with a quarter million dollar silk shirt, because my old pappy always used to say “Don’t put the chicken in front of”… no, wait “Never cut the cards before”… no, wait, “Don’t put all you eggs in one basket”.
– Maverick
Now that, I said.
– Zane Cooper

Almost got hung once myself. Didn’t care for it much.
– Angel

You thought that was fast? I thought it was fast. Well, was it?
– Annabelle

I’ve just noticed something.
– Maverick
What?
– Annabelle
You can’t help it can you? You are irresistible.
– Maverick