Mean Girls (2004) quotes

Director
Mark Waters.

Cast
Lindsay Lohan.
Jonathan Bennett.
Rachel McAdams.

Cady Heron is a hit with The Plastics, the A-list girl clique at her new school, until she makes the mistake of falling for Aaron Samuels, the ex-boyfriend of alpha Plastic Regina George.

If you’re from Africa, why are you white?
– Karen
Oh my God, Karen, you can’t just ask people why they’re white.
– Gretchen

I can’t go out.
– Karen
I’m sick.
– Karen
Boo, you whore!
– Regina

Nice wig, Janis. What’s it made of?
– Student
Your mom’s chest hair!
– Janis

Oh, god.
– Cady
You dirty little liar!
– Janis
I’m sorry, I can explain.
– Cady
Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party?
– Janis
Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew.
– Damian
You know I couldn’t invite you. I had to pretend to be plastic.
– Cady
Hey, buddy, you’re not pretending anymore. You’re plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.
– Janis
Curfew, 1:00 AM, it is now 1:10.
– Damian
Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness?
– Janis
You know what? You’re the one who made me like this so you could use me for your 8th grade revenge!
– Cady
God! See, at least me and Regina George know we’re mean! You try to act so innocent like, “Oh, I use to live in Africa with all the little birdies, and the little monkeys!”
– Janis
You know what! It’s not my fault you’re like, in love with me, or something!
– Cady
What?
– Janis
Oh, no, she did not!
– Damian
See? That’s the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, Aaron Samuels, for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn’t want you! So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I’ll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You’re a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize.
– Janis
And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!
– Damian

I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school… I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy…
– Crying Girl
She doesn’t even go here!
– Damian
Do you even go to this school?
– Ms. Norbury
No… I just have a lot of feelings…
– Crying Girl
Ok go home…
– Ms. Norbury
Next!
– Ms. Norbury

Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.
– Cady

Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles.
– Karen
And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it.
– Karen
And I’m sorry for repeating it now.
– Karen

Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin, ’cause I use super-jumbo tampons, but I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!
– Bethany Byrd

Why don’t I know you?
– Regina
I’m new. I just moved here from Africa.
– Cady
What?
– Regina
I used to be home-schooled.
– Cady
Wait… what?
– Regina
My mom taught me at home…
– Cady
No, I know what home-school is, I’m not retarded! So you’ve actually never been to a real school before? Shut up! Shut up!
– Regina
I didn’t say anything.
– Cady

Why are you dressed so scary?
– Karen
It’s Halloween.
– Cady

Get in loser, we’re going shopping.
– Regina

On Wednesdays we wear pink!
– Karen

Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George?
– Ms. Norbury

That is so fetch!
– Gretchen
Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It’s not going to happen!
– Regina

Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just don’t do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.
– Coach Carr

Hey, how was school?
– Chip Heron
Fine.
– Cady
Were people nice?
– Betsy Heron
No.
– Cady
Did you make any friends?
– Chip Heron
Yes.
– Cady

Okay, yeah. I’ve got an apology. So, I have this friend who is a new student this year. And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George’s life. So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, and then she would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. And we gave these candy bar things that would make her gain weight, and then we turned her best friends against her. And then… Oh yeah, Cady – you know my friend Cady? She made out with her boyfriend, and we convinced him to break up with her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash.
– Janis
God! I am so sorry Regina. Really, I don’t know why I did this. I guess it’s probably because I’ve got a big *lesbian* crush on you! Suck on *that*! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!
– Janis

Hell, no. I did *not* leave the South Side for this!
– Mr. Duvall