O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) quotes

Directors
Joel Coen, Ethan Coen.

Cast
George Clooney.
John Turturro.
Tim Blake Nelson.

In the deep south during the 1930s, three escaped convicts search for hidden treasure while a relentless lawman pursues them.

Damn! We’re in a tight spot!
– Ulysses Everett McGill

What’d the devil give you for your soul, Tommy?
– Ulysses Everett McGill
Well, he taught me to play this here guitar real good.
– Tommy Johnson
Oh son, for that you sold your everlasting soul?
– Delmar O’Donnell
Well, I wasn’t usin’ it.
– Tommy Johnson

You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek. But first… first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You shall see thangs, wonderful to tell. You shall see a… a cow… on the roof of a cotton house, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward. Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation.
– Blind Seer

Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?
– Pete
Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain’t the consensus view, then hell, let’s put it to a vote.
– Ulysses Everett McGill
Suits me. I’m voting for yours truly.
– Pete
Well I’m voting for yours truly too.
– Ulysses Everett McGill
Okay… I’m with you fellas.
– Delmar O’Donnell

Mrs. Hogwallop up and R-U-N-N-O-F-T.
– Washington Hogwallop

I can get the part from Bristol. It’ll take two weeks, here’s your pomade.
– Pomade Vendor
Two weeks? That don’t do me no good.
– Ulysses Everett McGill
Nearest Ford auto man’s Bristol.
– Pomade Vendor
Hold on, I don’t want this pomade. I want Dapper Dan.
– Ulysses Everett McGill
I don’t carry Dapper Dan, I carry Fop.
– Pomade Vendor
Well, I don’t want Fop, goddamn it! I’m a Dapper Dan man!
– Ulysses Everett McGill
Watch your language, young feller, this is a public market. Now if you want Dapper Dan, I can order it for you, have it in a couple of weeks.
– Pomade Vendor
Well, ain’t this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere!
– Ulysses Everett McGill

Care for some gopher?
– Delmar O’Donnell
No thank you, Delmar. A third of a gopher would only arouse my appetite without beddin’ ‘er back down.
– Ulysses Everett McGill
Oh, you can have the whole thing. Me and Pete already had one apiece. We ran across a whole… gopher village.
– Delmar O’Donnell

The color guard is colored!
– Homer Stokes

I’ve always wondered, what’s the devil look like?
– Pete
Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork.
– Ulysses Everett McGill
Oh, no. No, sir. He’s white, as white as you folks, with empty eyes and a big hollow voice. He likes to travel around with a mean old hound. That’s right.
– Tommy Johnson

Say, any of you boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin’?
– Ulysses Everett McGill

Jesus saves, George Nelson withdraws!
– George Nelson

Do not seek the treasure!
– Pete

You miserable little snake! You stole from my kin!
– Pete
Who was fixin’ to betray us.
– Ulysses Everett McGill
You didn’t know that at the time.
– Pete
So I borrowed it until I did know.
– Ulysses Everett McGill
That don’t make no sense!
– Pete
Pete, it’s a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.
– Ulysses Everett McGill

Tommy, what you ridin’ there?
– Ulysses Everett McGill
Uh… Roll top desk!
– Tommy Johnson

Well, you lying… unconstant… succubus!
– Ulysses Everett McGill
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can’t swear at my fiancĂ©!
– Vernon T. Waldrip
Oh, yeah? Well, you can’t marry my wife!
– Ulysses Everett McGill

Vernon here’s got a job. Vernon’s got prospects. He’s bona fide. What are you?
– Penny Wharvey McGill

Gopher, Everett?
– Delmar O’Donnell

I had to be up at that there crossroads last midnight, to sell my soul to the devil.
– Tommy Johnson
Well, ain’t it a small world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I’m the only one that remains unaffiliated.
– Ulysses Everett McGill

I’ll tell you what I am – I’m the damn paterfamilias! You can’t marry him!
– Ulysses Everett McGill

I slaughtered this horse last Tuesday. I think it’s startin’ to turn.
– Washington Hogwallop

You soft headed son of a bitch.
– Pappy O’Daniel

Well I’ll be a sonofabitch. Delmar’s been saved.
– Pete
Well that’s it, boys. I’ve been redeemed. The preacher’s done warshed away all my sins and transgressions. It’s the straight and narrow from here on out, and heaven everlasting’s my reward.
– Delmar O’Donnell
Delmar, what are you talking about? We’ve got bigger fish to fry.
– Ulysses Everett McGill
The preacher says all my sins is warshed away, including that Piggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoo.
– Delmar O’Donnell
I thought you said you was innocent of those charges?
– Ulysses Everett McGill
Well I was lyin’. And the preacher says that that sin’s been warshed away too. Neither God nor man’s got nothin’ on me now. C’mon in boys, the water is fine.
– Delmar O’Donnell

Those boys desecrated a burning cross!
– Homer Stokes

I detect, like me, you’re endowed with the gift of gab.
– Ulysses Everett McGill

Friend? Some of your foldin’ money’s come unstowed.
– Delmar O’Donnell

Ain’t you gonna introduce us, Pete?
– Ulysses Everett McGill
I don’t know their names. I seen ’em first!
– Pete

You work for the railroad, Grampa?
– Delmar O’Donnell
I work for no man.
– Blind Seer
Got a name, do you?
– Delmar O’Donnell
I have no name.
– Blind Seer
Well, that right there may be the reason you’ve had difficulty findin’ gainful employment. You see, in the mart of competitive commerce…
– Ulysses Everett McGill

So long boys. See you in the funny papers.
– Big Dan Teague

These boys is not white! These boys is not white! Hell, they ain’t even old timey!
– Homer Stokes

Where’s the happy little tire swing?
– Delmar O’Donnell

Well, it didn’t look like a two-horse town, but try finding a decent hair jelly.
– Ulysses Everett McGill

I’m gonna propose you a proposition!
– Big Dan Teague

I don’t get it, Big Dan.
– Ulysses Everett McGill

Me an’ the old lady are gonna pick up the pieces and retie the knot, mixaphorically speaking.
– Ulysses Everett McGill

And so, we gonna hang us a negro!
– Homer Stokes