Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) quotes

Cast
Michael Cera.
Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
Kieran Culkin.

Scott Pilgrim must defeat his new girlfriend’s seven evil exes in order to win her heart.

When I’m around you, I kind of feel like I’m on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.
– Scott Pilgrim

I’ve never even kissed a guy before.
– Knives Chau
Hey… me neither.
– Scott Pilgrim

This is good garlic bread.
– Ramona V. Flowers
Yeah, I think garlic bread would have to be my favourite all-time food. I could eat it for every meal. Or just constantly, without stopping.
– Scott Pilgrim
Then you’d get fat.
– Ramona V. Flowers
No, why would I get fat?
– Scott Pilgrim
Because bread makes you fat.
– Ramona V. Flowers
Bread makes you fat?
– Scott Pilgrim

Hey Jimmy do they rock or suck?
– Wallace Wells
They have not started playing yet…
– Jimmy
That was a test Jimmy, and you passed.
– Wallace Wells

I know you play mysterious and aloof just to avoid getting hurt. And I know you have reasons for not wanting talk about your past. I want you to know that I don’t care about any of that stuff. Because I’m in lesbians with you.
– Scott Pilgrim

We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.
– Scott Pilgrim

You made me swallow my gum! That’s going to be in my digestive tract for seven years!
– Gideon Gordon Graves

Guess who’s drunk!
– Wallace Wells
I guess Wallace.
– Scott Pilgrim
You guess right!
– Wallace Wells

What kind of tea do you want?
– Ramona V. Flowers
There’s more than one kind?
– Scott Pilgrim
We have blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, sleepy time, green tea, green tea with lemon, green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster, ginger with honey, ginger without honey, vanilla almond, white truffel, blueberry chamomile, vanilla walnut, constant comment and… earl grey.
– Ramona V. Flowers
Did you make some of those up?
– Scott Pilgrim

What do you play?
– Knives Chau
Wow, ummm… Zelda… Tetris… that’s kind of a big question.
– Young Neil

Go ahead. I’m too cool for you anyway.
– Knives Chau

Do you have any idea how long it took me to get all the evil exes’ contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like, two hours! *Two hours!*
– Gideon Gordon Graves

Your BF’s about to get eff’d in the b!
– Roxy Richter

We have an unfinished business. I and he.
– Todd Ingram
He and me.
– Scott Pilgrim
Don’t you talk to me about grammar!
– Todd Ingram

I have to go pee due to boredom.
– Scott Pilgrim

Did you really see a future with this girl?
– Stacey Pilgrim
Like… with jet-packs?
– Scott Pilgrim

We all have baggage.
– Ramona V. Flowers

Hey You totally came!
– Scott Pilgrim
Yes I did totally come…
– Ramona V. Flowers

You punched me in the boob! Prepare to die, obviously!
– Roxy Richter

That’s it! You cocky cock! You’ll pay for your crimes against humanity.
– Scott Pilgrim

You once were a ve-gone, but now you will begone.
– Scott Pilgrim
Ve-gone?
– Todd Ingram

Prepare to feel the wrath of the League of the Evil Exes.
– Lucas Lee

If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.
– Wallace Wells
Lesbian?
– Scott Pilgrim
The other L-word.
– Wallace Wells
…Lesbians?
– Scott Pilgrim

If I peed my pants would you pretend that I just got wet from the rain?
– Scott Pilgrim

I want to have his adopted babies.
– Wallace Wells

He punched the highlights out of her hair!
– Young Neil

Why can’t we have our own secret shows?
– Scott Pilgrim
All of our shows are secret shows.
– Kim Pine

Next time, we don’t date the girl with eleven evil ex-boyfriends.
– Stacey Pilgrim
It’s seven.
– Scott Pilgrim
Oh, well, that’s not that bad.
– Stacey Pilgrim

You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst.
– Envy Adams