Shaun of the Dead (2004) quotes

Cast
Simon Pegg.
Nick Frost.
Kate Ashfield.

A man decides to turn his moribund life around by winning back his ex-girlfriend, reconciling his relationship with his mother, and dealing with an entire community that has returned from the dead to eat the living.

David, kill the Queen!
– Shaun
What?
– David
The jukebox!
– Shaun

As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no “I” in team, but there is an “I” in pie. And there’s an “I” in meat pie. Anagram of meat is team… I don’t know what he’s talking about.
– Shaun

He’s not my boyfriend!
– Shaun
It might be a bit warm, the cooler’s off.
– Ed
Thanks, babe.
– Shaun

As Bertrand Russell once said, “The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation.” I think we can all appreciate the relevance of that now.
– Shaun
Was that on a beer mat?
– Liz
Yeah, it was Guinness Extra Cold.
– Shaun
I won’t say anything.
– Liz
Thanks.
– Shaun

‘Purple Rain’?
– Ed
No.
– Shaun
‘Sign o’ the Times’?
– Ed
Definitely not.
– Shaun
The ‘Batman’ soundtrack?
– Ed
Throw it.
– Shaun
‘Dire Straits’?
– Ed
Throw it.
– Shaun
Ooh, ‘Stone Roses’.
– Ed
Um, No.
– Shaun
‘Second Coming’.
– Ed
I like it!
– Shaun
Ahhh! ‘Sade’.
– Ed
Yeah, but that’s Liz’s!
– Shaun
Yeah, but she did dump you.
– Ed
Oh!
– Shaun

Though no one official is prepared to comment, religious groups are calling it Judgement Day. There’s…
– Krishnan Guru-Murthy
…Panic on the streets of London…
– Morrissey
…as an increasing number of reports of…
– News Reporter
…serious attacks on…
– Football Commentator 2
…people, who are literally being…
– News Reporter
…eaten alive.
– Documentary Narrator
Witness reports at best are sketchy. One unifying detail seems to be that the attackers in many instances appear to be…
– Jeremy Thompson
…dead excited to have with us here a sensational chart topping…
– Vernon Kay

We’re coming to get you, Barbara!
– Ed

Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?
– Ed

Do you want your messages?
– Ed
What?
– Shaun
Well, your mum rang about you going around tomorrow night, and then Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight, and then your mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight.
– Ed
*What*?
– Shaun

Any zombies out there?
– Ed
Don’t say that!
– Shaun
What?
– Ed
That!
– Shaun
What?
– Ed
The zed-word. Don’t say it!
– Shaun
Why not?
– Ed
Because it’s ridiculous!
– Shaun
All right… are there any out there, though?
– Ed
I can’t see any. Maybe it’s not as bad as all that.
– Shaun
Oh, no, there they are.
– Shaun

Ohh, for God’s sake! He’s got an arm off!
– Shaun

Don’t forget to kill Philip!
– Ed

Ed, this is serious!
– Shaun

What’s up, niggas?
– Ed

Look, I don’t care what the telly says, all right? We *have* to get out of here. If we don’t they’ll tear us to pieces, and that is really going to exacerbate things for all of us.
– Shaun

You got red on you.
– Philip

I’ve got nothing.
– Ed

Would anyone like… a peanut?
– Shaun

It’s four in the fucking morning!
– Pete
It’s Saturday!
– Shaun
No, it’s not. It’s fucking Sunday. And I’ve got to go to fucking work in four fucking hours ‘cos every other fucker in my fucking department is fucking ill! Now can you see why I’m SO FUCKING ANGRY?
– Pete
Fuck, yeah!
– Ed

Shaun! How are you doing?
– Yvonne
Surviving.
– Shaun

Do you want anything from the shop?
– Shaun
Cornetto.
– Ed

Philip, have you still got the child-locks on?
– Shaun
Safety first, Shaun.
– Philip

Oh, my God! Shaun!
– Yvonne

I’m not staying here.
– David
David, don’t, that’s suicide.
– Liz
I think you should go.
– Ed

For a hero, you’re quite a hypocrite!
– David