Thank You for Smoking (2005) quotes

Director
Jason Reitman.

Cast
Aaron Eckhart.
J.K. Simmons.
Maria Bello.

Satirical comedy follows the machinations of Big Tobacco’s chief spokesman, Nick Naylor, who spins on behalf of cigarettes while trying to remain a role model for his 12-year old son.

My job requires a certain… moral flexibility.
– Nick Naylor

My Mommy says smoking kills.
– Kid #3
Oh, is your Mommy a doctor?
– Nick Naylor
No.
– Kid #3
A scientific researcher of some kind?
– Nick Naylor
No.
– Kid #3
Well, then she’s hardly a credible expert, is she?
– Nick Naylor

Dad, why is the American government the best government?
– Joey Naylor
Because of our endless appeals system.
– Nick Naylor

These days, when someone smokes in the movies, they’re either a psychopath… or a European.
– Nick Naylor

That’s the beauty of argument, if you argue correctly, you’re never wrong.
– Nick Naylor

As you can see, Jeff just loves… Asian shit.
– Jack

That’s disgusting!
– Nick Naylor
It’s American.
– Bobby Jay Bliss

Now what we need is a smoking role model. A real winner.
– Nick Naylor
Indiana Jones meets Jerry Maguire.
– Jeff Megall
Right, on two packs a day.
– Nick Naylor

Nick, your job and everything aside, I hope you understand that second hand smoke’s a real killer.
– Brad
What are you talking about?
– Nick Naylor
I just hope you’re providing a smoke-free environment for Joey is all I’m saying.
– Brad
Brad, I’m his *father*. You’re the guy fucking his mom.
– Nick Naylor
That was unnecessary.
– Brad

You look like a nice enough fella. What are you doing working for these assholes?
– Lorne Lutch
I’m good at it. Better at doing this than I ever was at doing anything else.
– Nick Naylor
Aw, hell, son. I was good at shooting VC. I didn’t make it my career.
– Lorne Lutch

I didn’t even smoke Marlboros. I smoked Kools.
– Lorne Lutch

The way I heard it, D.C. police found you naked, laying in Lincoln’s crotch, covered in nicotine patches with a sign across your chest that said…
– Bobby Jay Bliss
He doesn’t need to hear the details.
– Polly Bailey
It was some pretty fucked up shit.
– Bobby Jay Bliss
Shh!
– Polly Bailey