The Death of Stalin (2017) quotes

Director
Armando Iannucci.

Cast
Simon Russell Beale.
Steve Buscemi.
Jeffrey Tambor.

Moscow, 1953. After being in power for nearly 30 years, Soviet dictator Josef Stalin takes ill and quickly dies.

I know the drill. Smile, shake hands and try not to call them cunts.
– Vasily Stalin

How can you run and plot at the same time?
– Kaganovich

My father… was a warm and mighty bear, and we are his 170 million orphaned cubs.
– Vasily Stalin

Right, what’s a war hero got to do to get some lubrication around here?
– Georgy Zhukov

Should we investigate…?
– Guard 1
Should you shut the fuck up before you get us both killed?
– Guard 2 

I’ve had nightmares that made more sense than this.
– Kaganovich

Is there any cheese in this building?
– Lavrentiy Beria

You smell like rendered horse, you burning asshole!
– Nikita Khrushchev

All the best doctors are in the gulag or dead.
– Kaganovich

Nod as I’m speaking to you. People are looking to me for reassurance and I have no idea what’s going on.
– Georgy Malenkov

I don’t think any of these people ever heard of Mozart.
– Andreyev

I hate being sober it’s a terrible, terrible mood to be in.
– Vasily Stalin

I want to make a speech at my father’s funeral.
– Vasily Stalin
And I want to fuck Grace Kelly.
– Nikita Khrushchev

He’s not bad, he’s just ill.
– Svetlana Stalin

Don’t worry, nobody’s gonna get killed, I promise you. This is just a musical emergency!
– Andreyev

A modern soldier’s greatest fear, it’s not death, it’s not starvation, it’s chafing!
– Georgy Zhukov

Stalin would be loving this.
– Vyacheslav Molotov

Please don’t shoot me!
– Lavrentiy Beria

Wade carefully through the river because there are snakes and crocodiles.
– Svetlana Stalin

This is how people get killed, when your story don’t fit.
– Nikita Khrushchev

I will bury you in history!
– Nikita Khrushchev