The Martian (2015) quotes

Cast
Matt Damon.
Jessica Chastain.
Jeff Daniels.

An astronaut becomes stranded on Mars after his team assume him dead, and must rely on his ingenuity to find a way to signal to Earth that he is alive.

In the face of overwhelming odds, I’m left with only one option, I’m gonna have to science the shit out of this.
– Mark Watney

I’m the first person to be alone on an entire planet.
– Mark Watney

I’ve been thinking about laws on Mars. There’s an international treaty saying that no country can lay claim to anything that’s not on Earth. By another treaty if you’re not in any country’s territory, maritime law aplies. So Mars is international waters. Now, NASA is an American non-military organization, it owns the Hab. But the second I walk outside I’m in international waters. So Here’s the cool part. I’m about to leave for the Schiaparelli Crater where I’m going to commandeer the Ares IV lander. Nobody explicitly gave me permission to do this, and they can’t until I’m on board the Ares IV. So I’m going to be taking a craft over in international waters without permission, which by definition… makes me a pirate. Mark Watney: Space Pirate.
– Mark Watney

Who am I to talk about loneliness?
– Mark Watney

How’s he doing?
– Vincent Kapoor
Uh… He asked us to call him Captain Blondebeard.
– Mindy Park

I admit it’s fatally dangerous, but I’d get to fly around like Iron Man.
– Mark Watney

I mean, what are we gonna say, “Dear America, remember that astronaut we killed and had a really nice funeral for? Turns out he’s alive and we left him on Mars. Our bad. Sincerely, NASA”. I mean, do you realize the shit storm that is about to hit us?
– Annie Montrose

Mars will come to fear my botany powers.
– Mark Watney

Let’s go get our boy.
– Melissa Lewis

Fuck you Mars.
– Mark Watney

Tell Commander Lewis, disco sucks.
– Mark Watney

If the oxygenator breaks down, I’ll suffocate. If the water reclaimer breaks down, I’ll die of thirst. If the hab breaches, I’ll just kind of implode. If none of those things happen, I’ll eventually run out of food and starve to death. So, yeah… Yeah…
– Mark Watney

Surprise!
– Mark Watney

I’ve got to make a lot more water. The good thing is, I know the recipe: You take hydrogen, you add oxygen, and you burn. Now, I have hundreds of liters of unused hydrazine at the MDV. If I run the hydrazine over an iridium catalyst, it’ll separate into N2 and H2. And then if I just direct the hydrogen into a small area and burn it. Luckily, in the history of humanity, nothing bad has ever happened from lighting hydrogen on fire.
– Mark Watney

I don’t want to come off as arrogant here, but I’m the greatest botanist on this planet.
– Mark Watney

The other question I get most frequently is. When I was up there stranded by myself, did I think I was gonna die? Yes, absolutely. And that’s one you need to know, going in, because it’s gonna happen to you. This is space. It does not cooperate.
– Mark Watney

Every time something goes wrong, the world forgets why we fly.
– Teddy Sanders

Welcome to the Astronaut Candidate Program. Now pay attention, because this could save your life. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.
– Mark Watney

At some point, everything’s gonna go south on you… everything’s going to go south and you’re going to say, this is it. This is how I end. Now you can either accept that, or you can get to work. That’s all it is. You just begin. You do the math. You solve one problem… and you solve the next one… and then the next. And If you solve enough problems, you get to come home. All right, questions?
– Mark Watney

Hi, I’m Mark Watney and I’m still alive… obviously.
– Mark Watney

They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially colonized it. So, technically, I colonized Mars. In your face, Neil Armstrong!
– Mark Watney

I’m not gonna die here.
– Mark Watney

It’s a strange feeling. Everywhere I go, I’m the first. Step outside the rover? First guy ever to be there! Climb a hill? First guy to climb that hill! Kick a rock? That rock hadn’t moved in a million years! I’m the first guy to drive long-distance on Mars. The first guy to spend more than thirty-one sols on Mars. The first guy to grow crops on Mars. First, first, first!
– Mark Watney