The Room (2003) quotes

Director
Tommy Wiseau.

Cast
Tommy Wiseau.
Juliette Danielle.
Greg Sestero.

Johnny is a successful banker who lives happily in a San Francisco townhouse with his fiancée, Lisa. One day, inexplicably, she gets bored with him and decides to seduce his best friend, Mark. From there, nothing will be the same again.

YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, LISA!
– Johnny

I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark.
– Johnny

How was work today?
– Mark
Oh, pretty good. We got a new client and the bank will make a lot of money.
– Johnny
What client?
– Mark
I cannot tell you; it’s confidential.
– Johnny
Aw, come on. Why not?
– Mark
No, I can’t. Anyway, how is your sex life?
– Johnny

I kill you, you bastard!
– Johnny
You couldn’t kill me if you tried.
– Mark
You betrayed me! You’re not good. You, you’re just a chicken. Chip-chip-chip-chip-cheep-cheep.
– Johnny

Do you want me to order a pizza?
– Lisa
Whatever, I don’t care.
– Johnny
I already ordered a pizza.
– Lisa
You think about everything, ha ha ha.
– Johnny

Did you get your promotion?
– Lisa
Nah.
– Johnny
You didn’t get it, did you?
– Lisa

Denny, don’t you have something else to do?
– Johnny
I just like to watch you guys.
– Denny

Everybody betrayed me! I’m fed up with this world!
– Johnny

Everything goes wrong all at once. Nobody wants to help me. And I’m dying.
– Claudette
You’re not dying, mom.
– Lisa
I got the results of the test back – I definitely have breast cancer.
– Claudette

Thank you, honey, this is a beautiful party! You invited all my friends. Good thinking!
– Johnny

Oh, hi, Claudette!
– Johnny
Oh!
– Claudette
Bye!
– Johnny

I have to go see Michelle in a little bit to make out with her.
– Mike

I gotta tell you something.
– Denny
Shoot, Denny.
– Johnny
It’s about Lisa.
– Denny
Go on.
– Johnny
She’s beautiful. She looks great in her red dress. I think I’m in love with her.
– Denny
Go on…
– Johnny

As far as I’m concerned, you can drop off the earth. That’s a promise.
– Mark

Don’t touch me, motherfucker – geddout.
– Johnny

I’m tired, I’m wasted… I love you, darling!
– Johnny

Denny, two is great, but three is a crowd.
– Johnny

I miss you, Mark.
– Lisa
What are you talking about? I just saw you!
– Mark

People are people. Sometimes they just can’t see their own faults.
– Peter

I feel like I’m sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off.
– Steven
Me too!
– Michelle

Lisa, TALK to me, PLEASE!
– Johnny

Let’s go eat, hah?
– Johnny