The Weather Man (2005) quotes
Director
Gore Verbinski.
Cast
Nicolas Cage.
Michael Caine.
Nicholas Hoult.
A Chicago weather man, separated from his wife and children, debates whether professional and personal success are mutually exclusive.
We both just think it’s better for the kids.
– Dave Spritz
David, sacrifice is… to get anything of value, you have to sacrifice.
– Robert Spritzel
I know that dad, but I think that if we continue down this road, it’s gonna be too detrimental for the kids. It’s just too hard.
– Dave Spritz
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. “Easy” doesn’t enter into grown-up life.
– Robert Spritzel
Always fast food. Fast food. Things that people would rather throw out than finish. It’s easy, it tastes all right, but it doesn’t really provide you any nourishment. I’m fast food.
– Dave Spritz
Man, I’d like to put my face in there. Right in there. Tartar sauce. My hips are cold. Tartar sauce. That’s when you know its cold. I like eating pussy. Tartar sauce. A lot of guys don’t. Well maybe they do. Maybe that’s just black guys. Tartar sauce. What happened to the guy who was trying to fly around the world in a balloon? Did he make it? I should put some espionage or stolen plutonium in my novel. Tartar sauce. Spice it up. Neil Young. Fuck, its cold. Neil Young. Wh-why am I thinking about Neil Young. Neil Diamond. Neil… Theres not a lot of famous Neils. Is this Wednesday? I wish I had two dicks. I thought the whole family was going to learn Spanish together this year. That never really happened. I haven’t had a Spanish omelette in a long time. Here we go.
– Dave Spritz
I wish I had two dicks.
– Dave Spritz
I remember once imagining what my life would be like, what I’d be like. I pictured having all these qualities, strong positive qualities that people could pick up on from across the room. But as time passed, few ever became any qualities that I actually had. And all the possibilities I faced and the sorts of people I could be, all of them got reduced every year to fewer and fewer. Until finally they got reduced to one, to who I am. And that’s who I am, the weather man.
– Dave Spritz
That was refreshing. I’m refreshed. I’m refreshing.
– Dave Spritz
This shit life… we must chuck some things. We must chuck them… in this shit life. There’s always looking after.
– Robert Spritzel
“Throughout marriage, BJs lacked enthusiasm. Had difference of opinion over how important that was. I thought very.” You know what, Dave? You want to know why my BJs lacked enthusiasm? I hated you. I hated your hair. I hated your ugly legs, your forearms. I hated kissing your lips, Dave. Okay? And that’s why I lacked enthusiasm when your cock was in my mouth.
– Noreen
Here’s something that if you want your father to think you’re not a silly fuck, don’t slap a guy across the face with a glove because if you do that, that’s what he will think. Unless you’re a noble man or something in the nineteenth century. Which I am not.
– Dave Spritz
It was a McDonald’s hot apple pie. They’re not kidding. It was hot.
– Dave Spritz
What happened to you?
– Robert Spritzel
I got hit with a Frosty.
– Dave Spritz
Why did you get hit with a Frosty?
– Robert Spritzel
What is a Frosty?
– Robert Spritzel
It’s a shake. From Wendy’s.
– Dave Spritz
Why did you get hit with a shake?
– Robert Spritzel
I mean, I’ll bet no one ever threw a pie at, like Harriet Tubman, the founder of the Underground railroad. I’ll bet you a million fucking dollars.
– Dave Spritz
Every couple months, someone throws something at me. A shake, a burrito once. Why? My name partly, I guess. I changed it for professional reasons, my first station manager suggested it – he said it sounded refreshing and that they wanted that quality. That may be true, but it’s also annoying. I know that.
– Dave Spritz
Accuracy equals focusing on a point. Gravity pulls an inch a yard. You point up. But you have to factor in wind, which is the most difficult part.
– Dave Spritz
I heard they make tires out of camel toes.
– Shelly
I read your book.
– Robert Spritzel
Fuck. I was gonna do, some more work on it, then I chucked it.
– Dave Spritz
You chucked it?
– Robert Spritzel
Garbage.
– Dave Spritz
I-it’s just what I do, David, I’ve practiced and I’ve gotten good. Like you and the weather business.
– Robert Spritzel
But I don’t predict it. Nobody does, ’cause i-it’s just wind. It’s wind. It blows all over the place! What the fuck!
– Dave Spritz
What is this sucking and chucking and jacking of fucking up, son? He’s fifteen years old! What is this shit?
– Robert Spritz