Toy Story (1995) quotes

Director
John Lasseter.

Cast
Tom Hanks.
Tim Allen.
Don Rickles.

A cowboy doll is profoundly threatened and jealous when a new spaceman figure supplants him as top toy in a boy’s room.

All right, that’s enough! Look, we’re all very impressed with Andy’s new toy.
Woody
Toy?
Buzz
T-O-Y, Toy!
Woody
Excuse me, I think the word you’re searching for is “Space Ranger”.
Buzz
The word I’m searching for – I can’t say, because there’s preschool toys present.
Woody

What happened to you?
– Woody
One minute you’re defending the whole galaxy, and, suddenly, you find yourself sucking down darjeeling with Marie Antoinette… and her little sister.
– Buzz

[through his voice box] Reach for the sky!
– Woody
Huh?
– Sid Phillips
This town ain’t big enough for the two of us!
– Woody
What?
– Sid Phillips
Somebody’s poisoned the waterhole!
– Woody
It’s busted.
– Sid Phillips
Who are you calling busted, Buster?
– Woody
Huh?
– Sid Phillips
That’s right! I’m talking to you, Sid Philips! We don’t like being blown up, Sid. Or smashed, or torn apart.
– Woody
[hyperventilating] W-we?
– Sid Phillips
That’s right, your toys!
– Woody
[Mutant Toys get up and surround the terrified Sid]
From now on, you must take good care of your toys, because if you don’t, we’ll find out, Sid!
– Woody
[while turning head around slowly] We toys can see EVERYTHING!
– Woody
[speaking and moving] So play nice!
– Woody

[Woody, scared, walks backwards and he gets startled by Buzz. Buzz keeps talking to his “mission log”] And according to my navi-computer, the…
– Buzz
[whispers] SHUT UP! Just shut up, you idiot!
– Woody
Sheriff, this is no time to panic.
– Buzz
This is a perfect time to panic! I’m lost, Andy is gone, they’re gonna move to their new house in two days, and it’s all your fault!
– Woody
My fault? If you hadn’t pushed me out of the window in the first place…
– Buzz
Oh, yeah? Well, if *you* hadn’t shown up with your stupid little cardboard spaceship and taken away everything that was important to me…
– Woody
Don’t talk to me about importance! Because of *you*, the future of this entire universe is in jeopardy!
– Buzz
What? What are you talkin’ about?
– Woody
Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I alone have information that reveals this weapon’s only weakness. And *you*, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!
– Buzz
[pauses, then screams] YOU – ARE – A… *TOY*! You aren’t the real Buzz Lightyear! You’re a… aw, you’re – you’re an action figure!
– Woody
[holds hand up to eyes indicating something small]
You are a child’s play thing!
– Woody
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
– Buzz
[waves in military fashion] Farewell.
– Buzz
[starts to walk away]
Oh, yeah? Well, good riddance, ya loony!
– Woody
[walks off grumbling] Rendezvous with Star Command.
– Woody

Hey, who’s got my hat?
– Woody
[Pops out right next to Woody, wearing his hat] Look, I’m Woody! Howdy, howdy, howdy!
– Mr. Shark
Ha-ha, ha-ha…
– Woody
[snatches his hat away]
Gimme that!
– Woody

Hey, Hamm. Look, I’m Picasso!
– Mr. Potato Head
I don’t get it.
– Hamm
You uncultured swine! What’re you lookin’ at, ya hockey puck?
– Mr. Potato Head

Hey, Buzz! You’re flying!
– Woody
This isn’t flying, this is falling with style!
– Buzz
[Excitedly] To infinity and beyond!
– Woody

[about the second present Andy opens ] It’s… it’s bedsheets!
– Sergeant
Who invited that kid?
– Mr. Potato Head

Hey, a laser! How come *you* don’t have a laser, Woody?
– Mr. Potato Head
It’s not a laser! It’s a…
– Woody
[sighs in frustration]
It’s a little light bulb that blinks.
– Woody
What’s with him?
– Hamm
Laser envy.
– Mr. Potato Head

To infinity, and beyond!
– Buzz

Mr. Lightyear, now I’m curious… what does a space ranger actually do?
– Rex
He’s not a space ran-*ger*! He doesn’t fight evil or, or… shoot lasers or fly.
– Woody
Excuse me.
– Buzz
[Buzz deploys his wings; all exclaim in excitement]
– Buzz
Wow. Impressive wingspan. Very good.
– Hamm
Oh, what? What? These are plastic. He can’t fly.
– Woody
They are a terillium-carbonic alloy, and I *can* fly.
– Buzz
No, you can’t.
– Woody
[scoffs] Yes, I can.
– Buzz
Can’t.
– Woody
Can.
– Buzz
Can’t, can’t, ca-an’t!
– Woody
I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed!
– Buzz
Okay, Mr. Lightbeer, prove it.
– Woody
All right then, I will.
– Buzz