When Harry Met Sally (1989) quotes
Director
Rob Reiner.
Cast
Billy Crystal.
Meg Ryan.
Carrie Fisher.
Harry and Sally have known each other for years, and are very good friends, but they fear sex would ruin the friendship.
You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you.
– Sally Albright
Had my dream again where I’m making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I’d nailed the compulsories, so this is it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the dismount.
– Harry Burns
Amanda mentioned you had a dark side.
– Sally Albright
That’s what drew her to me.
– Harry Burns
Your dark side?
– Sally Albright
Sure. Why? Don’t you have a dark side? I know, you’re probably one of those cheerful people who dot their “i’s” with little hearts.
– Harry Burns
I have just as much of a dark side as the next person.
– Sally Albright
Oh, really? When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.
– Harry Burns
I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
– Harry Burns
Most women at one time or another have faked it.
– Sally Albright
Well, they haven’t faked it with me.
– Harry Burns
How do you know?
– Sally Albright
Because I know.
– Harry Burns
Oh. Right. That’s right. I forgot. You’re a man.
– Sally Albright
What was that supposed to mean?
– Harry Burns
Nothing. It’s just that all men are sure it never happened to them and all women at one time or other have done it, so you do the math.
– Sally Albrigh
It is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk.
– Harry Burns
I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
– Harry Burns
The fact that you’re not answering leads me to believe you’re either (a) not at home, (b) home but don’t want to talk to me, or (c) home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it’s either (a) or (c), please call me back.
– Harry Burns
You take someone to the airport, it’s clearly the beginning of the relationship. That’s why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.
– Harry Burns
Why?
– Sally Albright
Because eventually things move on and you don’t take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore?
– Harry Burns
It’s amazing. You look like a normal person, but actually you are the angel of death.
– Sally Albright
I’ll have what she’s having.
– Older Woman Customer
Would you like to have dinner?… Just friends.
– Harry Burns
I thought you didn’t believe men and women could be friends.
– Sally Albright
When did I say that?
– Harry Burns
On the ride to New York.
– Sally Albright
No, no, no, I never said that… Yes, that’s right, they can’t be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can… This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted… That doesn’t work either, because what happens then is, the person you’re involved with can’t understand why you need to be friends with the person you’re just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say “No, no, no it’s not true, nothing is missing from the relationship,” the person you’re involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you’re just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let’s face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can’t be friends.
– Harry Burns
Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous, and I had these days of the week underpants.
– Sally Albright
Ehhhh. I’m sorry. I need the judges ruling on this. “Days of the weeks underpants”?
– Harry Burns
Yes. They had the days of the week on them, and I thought they were sort of funny. And then one day Sheldon says to me, “You never wear Sunday.” It was all suspicious. Where was Sunday? Where had I left Sunday? And I told him, and he didn’t believe me.
– Sally Albright
What?
– Harry Burns
They don’t make Sunday.
– Sally Albright
Why not?
– Harry Burns
Because of God.
– Sally Albright
At least I got the apartment.
– Sally Albright
That’s what everyone says. But, really, what’s so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is look in the obituary section. You see who died, find out where they lived, and tip the doorman. What they could do to make it easier is combine the two. You know, Mr. Kline died yesterday, leaving behind a wife, two children, and a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning fireplace.
– Harry Burns
There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
– Harry Burns
Which one am I?
– Sally Albright
You’re the worst kind; you’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.
– Harry Burns
I don’t see that.
– Sally Albright
You don’t see that? Waiter, I’ll begin with a house salad, but I don’t want the regular dressing. I’ll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. “On the side” is a very big thing for you.
– Harry Burns
Well, I just want it the way I want it.
– Sally Albright
I know; high maintenance.
– Harry Burns
I am not your consolation prize, Harry.
– Sally Albright
I don’t think he’s ever going to leave her.
– Marie
Nobody thinks he’s never going to leave her.
– Sally
You’re right, you’re right. I know you’re right.
– Marie
Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but they couldn’t possibly all have good taste.
– Marie
Marriages don’t break up on account of infidelity. It’s just a symptom that something else is wrong.
– Jess
Oh really? Well, that “symptom” is fucking my wife.
– Harry Burns
Tell me I’ll never have to be out there again.
– Marie
You will never have to be out there again.
– Jess